Mot's blog

The Nightmare comes to Life - an extended entry

I share a recurring nightmare with my siblings [ and others? ] It follows basically the same script everytime. I am in school. It is the end of the semester/quarter. I have not attended the important class. I do not have the book. I have not studied. I have not finished the paper. I will fail the final test. My entire life will be ruined.

Sometime the school changes - UB, RIT somewhere else. It is always a Math or English class.

I always wake up in terror and typically take 30 seconds to remind myself - School is over. You are done. You have a job now.


I believe The Dream remained with me for years after RIT due to my laggardly thesis progress.
Anyone nearby me from 1995 - 2006 knew how OnAgain Off Again I was with the thesis. My need for completion was even mentioned in my mother's Eulogy. It was like pulling teeth as I wrote it. It was so completely LeftBrained. My RightBrain screeched everytime I worked on it.

[ I believe it was a very good thesis however..]

But I took too long to complete it. RIT had some vague guideline about 7 years for completion and I ran through that in a blink of an eye. The last 4-5 years of work on it were painful. Mentally and financially. I was registering every quarter for a graduate credit ( $780!) and I figured that little fee in itself was created to act as a spur in my quarters. My thesis advisor and department chairman were very helpful and were still speaking to me. So I figured that my deadline flaunting was on the up and up. [ Though I still had much anxiety over it. ] $80000 for a graduate education and no paper to show for it - sorta rings like "You're a loser"

Hence the recurring nightmare...

I wanted to quit my job at Xerox at many points. However - I told myself I could not quit until thesis was done. Hence I ground my teeth at work at many points and watched friends hop between new jobs, seemly up a rung every time. So as the fall of 2006 wore on and the wiff of layoff was in the air, I raced to get my final chapters finished and reviewed.

And very proudly handed in my final copy on Monday December 12th at 5:30pm

And on Tuesday December 13th at 8:30am - I was layed off. Bastards!


Final signatures were given in 2007 and I was told I was "all set" as I walked off into the sunset.
Done. Done. Done.

Fast forward to last month. I have been contract at WelchAllyn for a year now and the company was starting the process of making me a full time employee. WelchAllyn is a smaller company and I have been told directly that it is rare for them create new positions and new job descriptions. The fact that within 1 year, I, along with my fellow Ux contractors has managed to
introduce the company to the value of User Experience and now the company was creating new positions for the field - this was considered extrodinary

The Human resources person calls me in on a Monday [?] last month to let me know -

there's a problem.....

Don't you love that? That little phrase can strike terror in anyone. SO - I am told that my graduate school has reported that I am not on record as graduating.

And the Nightmare comes to life as a 80ft mental Tsunami sitting in a chair in the HR office.

Four phone calls later - and it is revealed that I never obtained a formal extension of thesis

Eh...what? So in 2007 a note was placed in my file and sent to my department chair regarding the missing extension and.......there it sat. Meanwhile my thesis was bound and sat happily in the library. And did I mention that the department chair in question had now left RIT and was in Utah not returning my email....

NO degree and a job offer hanging in the balance... talk about a need to vomit.

Four weeks worth of stress spinning in my head of someone new at RIT looking at my extended timeframe and Freaking out and what to do if they won't give me my degree....

The staff at RIT has been very helpful and I have been informed that the dean of graduate studies has signed off my extension and that my application for graduation has been approved and is being sent to the Registrar this week. Of course - I will never believe it until that stupid piece of paper is on my wall.. With a spot light on it.

Maybe this is last of that nightmare?