Bathroom continues
After staring at the floor for 2 weeks, I started preparing it last week. I cut and fitted a plywood underlayment to the existing subfloor and then fitted a Hardibacker floor on top of that. The Hardibacker was laid down with thinset and then screwed down. 
I am laying down a leveling mortar this afternoon and then the plumber is coming is coming tomorrow to help me install the shower base [ tricky to put it mildly]
4.0
Well - today was the big day. 40 years old. hmmm. whattodo? as some would say. I will admit the last couple of years - I have preferred the birthday as a non event. I am sure that reflects some anxiety of getting old.
[ I am pulling grey hairs out of my sideburns now...]
However, I realized today my reluctance had much more to do with the death of my mother several years back. My birthday immediately follows my mom's [which was St.Patrick's day!] It has always been a double holiday in the family. Family folklore reports that i was supposed to be born on St. Patrick's day as a present for mom. [ And be aptly named "Patrick" ] Apparently my mom's labor was induced a early to help things along.
Well, setting the tone of the rest of my life, I had other plans.
I kept my mom in labor for over 24[?] hours until I decided I was ready and made my debut the following day. It had been a triple holiday in the family ever since. 2 birthdays, St. Patrick's Day. Green milk in the morning cereal and birthday cake, jigging and shamrock shakes everywhere.
Well… none of it has really been the same since Mom left.
In fact, the birthday / St. Patrick’s day now just seems more a reminder that she left us too early and I really miss her. ( As I am reminded trying to articulate this! )
But I know Mom is still with us. I have mentioned to several people that some time after she passed away I found myself at the end of a rope emotionally and very lonely. I remember asking her to "send me a good one". And in short time - Eric dropped out of cyberspace like a post modern farm house from Kansas.
[ And I have been a very happy wicked witch since! ]
Mom stops in on a dream from time to time to check in and say hello as well. And all this usually works well to provide some comfort that she's not here anymore.
But sometimes it just runs out of steam.
Then grief just swings in like a 2 x 4 to the back of the head.
I am sure people would say that the holiday should just make us happy to remember her.
That’s a Nice Idea. Maybe next year.
I let Eric know that I preferred a non event this year. Knowing he would faithfully kibosh any event planning. But he was outgunned by my sisters – who immediately vetoed THAT idea. Together they planned a great surprise party for me at my friend Jennie and Zahra’s house. It was really nice. I am not crazy about surprise parties. I am not comfortable with that kind of attention. [ is anybody?] But I can say that I like when my family and friends get to meet and hang around with other. I have good genes and good taste
– so it’s just Smashing! when they are face to face. :O)
There was plenty of cake and laughs for the afternoon, along with box wine!
(inside family joke)
Our roaming photographer friend Gerry Szymanski also took some Great Pics
I started making a joke with some friends that given the swirl of events of late - layoff, relocating and a new career search, it would be better to think of this as the beginning of the next phase. I have read that people can reinvent themselves multiple times in their life. My To Do list of creative projects has only gotten longer in the past ten years. Never enough time. So this next round will definitely involve more creativity and flexibility! And also be 100% fat and thesis-free!
So not 40 but rather - Version 4.0
Stay tuned.
Snowshoeing
Eric and i headed south on Saturday to try a bit of snow shoeing. Eric borrowed his brother's shoes and I bought a pair from the Grocery store [$12.95 with the Tops bonus card] It was actually partially sunny for most of our hike and I managed to get a few pictures. A snow squall started just as we got ready to leave. Within 5 minutes of driving - we hit a near white out. Winter in Upstate....
